Revision Assignment (30 points) Rewriting is the essence of writing well — where the game is won or lost. —William Zinsser You must attach 1) your revision to your 2) graded draft along with 3) a one-page summation of your revision process. In your one- page summation, discuss what were you hoping to strengthen and, perhaps, emphasize in your original piece. What does it mean to revise? Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper: reconsidering your arguments, reviewing your evidence, refining your purpose, reorganizing your presentation, reviving stale prose. As you revise, be sure to go beyond my comments. Revision is more than addressing the few comments and corrections that I make; it is reviewing a past work with fresh eyes and a keener sense of literature. I would also recommend a trip to the Writing Center for some guidance. But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling. Nope. That is called proofreading. It is an important step before turning your paper in, but if your ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. When you finish revising, that is the time to proofread. How about if I just reword things: look for better words, avoid repetition, etc.? Is that revision? Well, that is a part of revision called editing. It is another important final step in polishing your work. But if you have not thought through your ideas, then rephrasing them won’t make any difference. Why is revision important? Writing is a process of discovery, and you do not always produce your best stuff when you first get started. So revision is a chance for you to look critically at what you have written to see • if it is really worth saying, • if it says what you wanted to say, and • if a reader will understand what you’re saying. Tips • Work from hardcopy; it is easier on the eyes. Also, problems that seem invisible on the screen somehow tend to show up better on paper. • Another tip is to read the paper out loud. That is one way to see how well things flow. The Process What steps should I use when I begin to revise? Here are several things to do. But do not try them all at one time. Instead, focus on two or three main areas during each revision session. • Wait awhile after you have finished a draft before looking at it again. The Roman poet Horace thought one should wait nine years, but that is a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will work. When you do return to the draft, be honest with yourself, and don’t be lazy. Ask yourself what you really think about the paper. • As the Scott Foresman Handbook for Writers puts it, “THINK BIG, don’t tinker” (61). At this stage, you should be concerned with the large issues in the paper, not the commas. • Check the focus of the paper: Is it appropriate to the assignment? Is the topic too big or too narrow? Do you stay on track through the entire paper? • Think honestly about your thesis: Do you still agree with it? Should it be modified in light of something you discovered as you wrote the paper? Does it make a sophisticated, provocative point, or does it just say what anyone could say if given the same topic? Does your thesis generalize instead of taking a specific position? Should it be changed altogether? • Think about your purpose in writing: Does your introduction state clearly what you intend to do? Will your aims be clear to your readers? What are some other steps I should consider in later stages of the revision process? • Examine the balance within your paper: Are some parts out of proportion with others? Do you spend too much time on one trivial point and neglect a more important point? Do you give lots of detail early on and then let your points get thinner by the end? • Check that you have kept your promises to your readers: Does your paper follow through on what the thesis promises? Do you support all the claims in your thesis? Are the tone and formality of the language appropriate for your audience? • Check the organization: Does your paper follow a pattern that makes sense? Do the transitions move your readers smoothly from one point to the next? Do the topic sentences of each paragraph appropriately introduce what that paragraph is about? Would your paper work better if you moved some things around? For more information visit our handout on reorganizing drafts. • Check your information: Are all your facts accurate? Are any of your statements misleading? Have you provided enough detail to satisfy readers’ curiosity? Have you cited all your information appropriately? • Check your conclusion: Does the last paragraph tie the paper together smoothly and end on a stimulating note, or does the paper just die a slow, redundant, lame, or abrupt death? But I do not want to rewrite my whole paper! Revision does not necessarily mean rewriting the whole paper. Sometimes it means revising the thesis to match what you have discovered while writing. Sometimes it means coming up with stronger arguments to defend your position, or coming up with more vivid examples to illustrate your points. Sometimes it means shifting the order of your paper to help the reader follow your argument, or to change the emphasis of your points. Sometimes it means adding or deleting material for balance or emphasis. And then, sadly, sometimes revision does mean trashing your first draft and starting from scratch. Better that than having the teacher trash your final paper. But I work so hard on what I write that I cannot afford to throw any of it away. If you want to be a polished writer, then you will eventually find out that you cannot afford NOT to throw stuff away. As writers, we often produce lots of material that needs to be tossed. The idea or metaphor or paragraph that I think is most wonderful and brilliant is often the very thing that confuses my reader or ruins the tone of my piece or interrupts the flow of my argument. A writing teacher once told my class to “Kill your babies.” Sorry for the grim image, but she meant that writers must be willing to sacrifice their favorite bits of writing for the good of the piece as a whole. In order to trim things down, though, you first have to have plenty of material on the page. One trick is not to hinder yourself while you are composing the first draft because the more you produce, the more you will have to work with when cutting time comes. How do I revise at the sentence level? Read your paper out loud, sentence by sentence, and follow Peter Elbow’s advice: “Look for places where you stumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness’s that need fixing. Look for places where you get distracted or even bored—where you cannot concentrate. These are places where you probably lost focus or concentration in your writing. Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression; get back to the energy. Listen even for the tiniest jerk or stumble in your reading, the tiniest lessening of your energy or focus or concentration as you say the words . . . A sentence should be alive” (Writing with Power 135). Practical advice for ensuring that your sentences are alive: • Use forceful verbs—replace long verb phrases with a more specific verb. For example, replace “She argues for the importance of the idea” with “She defends the idea.” • Cut as many prepositional phrases as you can without losing your meaning. For instance, the following sentence, “There are several examples of the issue of integrity in Huck Finn,” would be much better this way, “Huck Finn repeatedly addresses the issue of integrity.” Check your sentence variety. If more than two sentences in a row start the same way (with a subject followed by a verb, for example), then try using a different sentence pattern. • Aim for precision in word choice. Do not settle for the best word you can think of at the moment—use a thesaurus (along with a dictionary) to search for the word that says exactly what you want to say.   Adapted from © 2010-2012 by The Writing Center at UNC Chapel Hill.

Revision Assignment (30 points)

Rewriting is the essence of writing well — where the game is won or lost.

—William Zinsser

You must attach 1) your revision to your 2) graded draft along with 3) a one-page summation of your revision process. In your one- page summation, discuss what were you hoping to strengthen and, perhaps, emphasize in your original piece.

What does it mean to revise?

Revision literally means to “see again,” to look at something from a fresh, critical perspective. It is an ongoing process of rethinking the paper: reconsidering your arguments, reviewing your evidence, refining your purpose, reorganizing your presentation, reviving stale prose. As you revise, be sure to go beyond my comments. Revision is more than addressing the few comments and corrections that I make; it is reviewing a past work with fresh eyes and a keener sense of literature. I would also recommend a trip to the Writing Center for some guidance.

But I thought revision was just fixing the commas and spelling.

Nope. That is called proofreading. It is an important step before turning your paper in, but if your ideas are predictable, your thesis is weak, and your organization is a mess, then proofreading will just be putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. When you finish revising, that is the time to proofread.

How about if I just reword things: look for better words, avoid repetition, etc.? Is that revision?

Well, that is a part of revision called editing. It is another important final step in polishing your work. But if you have not thought through your ideas, then rephrasing them won’t make any difference.

Why is revision important?

Writing is a process of discovery, and you do not always produce your best stuff when you first get started. So revision is a chance for you to look critically at what you have written to see

•if it is really worth saying,

•if it says what you wanted to say, and

•if a reader will understand what you’re saying.

Tips

•Work from hardcopy; it is easier on the eyes. Also, problems that seem invisible on the screen somehow tend to show up better on paper.

•Another tip is to read the paper out loud. That is one way to see how well things flow.

The Process

What steps should I use when I begin to revise?

Here are several things to do. But do not try them all at one time. Instead, focus on two or three main areas during each revision session.

•Wait awhile after you have finished a draft before looking at it again. The Roman poet Horace thought one should wait nine years, but that is a bit much. A day—a few hours even—will work. When you do return to the draft, be honest with yourself, and don’t be lazy. Ask yourself what you really think about the paper.

•As the Scott Foresman Handbook for Writers puts it, “THINK BIG, don’t tinker” (61). At this stage, you should be concerned with the large issues in the paper, not the commas.

•Check the focus of the paper: Is it appropriate to the assignment? Is the topic too big or too narrow? Do you stay on track through the entire paper?

•Think honestly about your thesis: Do you still agree with it? Should it be modified in light of something you discovered as you wrote the paper? Does it make a sophisticated, provocative point, or does it just say what anyone could say if given the same topic? Does your thesis generalize instead of taking a specific position? Should it be changed altogether?

•Think about your purpose in writing: Does your introduction state clearly what you intend to do? Will your aims be clear to your readers?

What are some other steps I should consider in later stages of the revision process?

•Examine the balance within your paper: Are some parts out of proportion with others? Do you spend too much time on one trivial point and neglect a more important point? Do you give lots of detail early on and then let your points get thinner by the end?

•Check that you have kept your promises to your readers: Does your paper follow through on what the thesis promises? Do you support all the claims in your thesis? Are the tone and formality of the language appropriate for your audience?

•Check the organization: Does your paper follow a pattern that makes sense? Do the transitions move your readers smoothly from one point to the next? Do the topic sentences of each paragraph appropriately introduce what that paragraph is about? Would your paper work better if you moved some things around? For more information visit our handout on reorganizing drafts.

•Check your information: Are all your facts accurate? Are any of your statements misleading? Have you provided enough detail to satisfy readers’ curiosity? Have you cited all your information appropriately?

•Check your conclusion: Does the last paragraph tie the paper together smoothly and end on a stimulating note, or does the paper just die a slow, redundant, lame, or abrupt death?

But I do not want to rewrite my whole paper!

Revision does not necessarily mean rewriting the whole paper. Sometimes it means revising the thesis to match what you have discovered while writing. Sometimes it means coming up with stronger arguments to defend your position, or coming up with more vivid examples to illustrate your points. Sometimes it means shifting the order of your paper to help the reader follow your argument, or to change the emphasis of your points. Sometimes it means adding or deleting material for balance or emphasis. And then, sadly, sometimes revision does mean trashing your first draft and starting from scratch. Better that than having the teacher trash your final paper.

But I work so hard on what I write that I cannot afford to throw any of it away.

If you want to be a polished writer, then you will eventually find out that you cannot afford NOT to throw stuff away. As writers, we often produce lots of material that needs to be tossed. The idea or metaphor or paragraph that I think is most wonderful and brilliant is often the very thing that confuses my reader or ruins the tone of my piece or interrupts the flow of my argument. A writing teacher once told my class to “Kill your babies.” Sorry for the grim image, but she meant that writers must be willing to sacrifice their favorite bits of writing for the good of the piece as a whole. In order to trim things down, though, you first have to have plenty of material on the page. One trick is not to hinder yourself while you are composing the first draft because the more you produce, the more you will have to work with when cutting time comes.

How do I revise at the sentence level?

Read your paper out loud, sentence by sentence, and follow Peter Elbow’s advice: “Look for places where you stumble or get lost in the middle of a sentence. These are obvious awkwardness’s that need fixing. Look for places where you get distracted or even bored—where you cannot concentrate. These are places where you probably lost focus or concentration in your writing. Cut through the extra words or vagueness or digression; get back to the energy. Listen even for the tiniest jerk or stumble in your reading, the tiniest lessening of your energy or focus or concentration as you say the words . . . A sentence should be alive” (Writing with Power 135).

Practical advice for ensuring that your sentences are alive:

•Use forceful verbs—replace long verb phrases with a more specific verb. For example, replace “She argues for the importance of the idea” with “She defends the idea.”

•Cut as many prepositional phrases as you can without losing your meaning. For instance, the following sentence, “There are several examples of the issue of integrity in Huck Finn,” would be much better this way, “Huck Finn repeatedly addresses the issue of integrity.” Check your sentence variety. If more than two sentences in a row start the same way (with a subject followed by a verb, for example), then try using a different sentence pattern.

•Aim for precision in word choice. Do not settle for the best word you can think of at the moment—use a thesaurus (along with a dictionary) to search for the word that says exactly what you want to say.